It’s been a year. exactly a year since you came into my life. exactly a year since you changed everything i ever knew. exactly a year since you broke my heart.

i could never forget the date. it was the day that forever changed my life; after that day i was never the same. you opened my eyes to a whole new emotion, an emotion that set off a chain reaction of ten other emotions that i never even knew existed

and you know what? 

if i could go back in time and change anything i wouldnt. things turned out the way they did for a reason, and this is the way they were meant to be. and when i go back and read my diary from the first page, I can’t help but be marveled at how much things have changed. at how much we’ve changed. we’ve been through so much together his past year; the good, the bad, and everything in between. we’ve grown as individuals and we’ve grown as friends. i’ve been to hell and back because of you, and i’ve grown from it. i’ve learned so much about life, about love, and about you; and you’ve awoken a side of me that no one else could have. you brought out the real me. 

no one else could have done that. i really hope you know how much you chaged my life. and even though you broke my heart, you made it whole at the same time. you made me the happiest person on the face of the earth at one point, and i could never forget that feeling. how special and loved you made me feel, how warm and safe it was in your arms. you made me the happiest person and the most depressed. i spent sleepless nights tossing and turning in my bad, the “what-if”s going through my head. i laughed with you, i cried with you, i cried over you, i smiled with you, i held you, i kissed you, i told you things would be okay and i promised you i’d always be here, no matter what happened. 

i’ve yet to break that promise. 

but i never will. ever. i promised you and i mean it. i’m going to be the one person who has kept their promise to you, and i know you appreciate it. i know you know that i care. i just wish you knew how much. you mean too much to me for me to break any kind of promise to you. i’d cross the world for you, i’d walk a thousand miles through quick sand and lava if i had to. because i know you’re worth it, i know it. my friends may not think so, but they dont know you like i do; no one does and no one ever will. i know you’re one in a million, you really are. 

when i was in LA, everywhere i went, all i saw was you. every little place holds a memory of you because LA is where it all began. whenever i see a certain thing, i think of you. whenever i hear a certain song, i think of you. whenever i go to a certain place, all i see is you. 

and honestly, i don’t cry anymore. i don’t cry over the lost times, i smile. i don’t cry because they’re over, i smile because they happened. they happened and now we’re closer than ever. it made us who we are and i guess we’re better off this way. i’m just so greateful i have you in my life becayse not many people get to keep a aprt of the person they fell in love with. i should be grateful and i am, i really am. i always will be. it’s just crazy how quickly time goes by and how muh things change over the course of a year.

you are the most beautiful person i’ve ever met, both inside and out. never forget that.

i’ll always love you. you’ll always have a special place in my heart.

never forget that.