why cant i hate you? 

after everything you’ve put me through, after everything i’ve gone through all year, why can’t i resent you, even just a little it? if it were anybody else i’d hate them within the second. i’d forget about all of the good things because the bad things are just too bad, too horrible to get over.

 but not with you.

with you, i can only love you more with every passing day, and i don’t know why.

my head is saying one thing, my heart is another.

my head, my rational side, is screaming “she’s nothing but trouble! get yourself out of this mess she’s only hurting you! she hasn’t helped you, she’s hurt you! hurt you so badly! think of all the night you cried yourself to sleep over her! is she really worth it?”

and then my heart, my irrational, emotional side, answers that question “yes, yes she’s worth it. because no matter how much pain you’re in because of her, you love her for a reason. you fell in love with her for a reason”

and yes, yes i did fall in love with her for a reason. many, reasons actually. her bubbly, fun, sweet, caring, kind, funny, outgoing personality. her gorgeous features. her long, silky blonde hair. her shining crystal blue eyes. her slim, athletic, taunting, seductive body. the way she makes me feel.the list could go on and on. but mainly, i love her because….hell, she make’s me happy. even though we’re not the same people we were when we first met last summer, she still makes me happy simply by existing. if i could i would spend every minute of every day with her, simply because when i’m with her, im happy. i’m a better person; she makes me want to be a better person.

you know you’ve found the one when that special someone brings out the best in you.

and hell, i think i’ve found the one